The Journey of Finding Your Effortless Self

You want to be better, yeah?

You want to be fitter, healthier, happier, smarter and have more money?

You want to achieve all those goals and BE that ideal person?

You want others (friends, family, coworkers, partners, strangers online) to respect you and see you in a certain light.

I know this because that’s what I (this is Miles’ ego speaking) want.

Well, being you requires no effort. You just are, that’s it.

The real you is unborn and undying.

In the same way a mother loves her child unconditionally.

There was no event or condition that triggered this love, it has always been there and always will.

All you need to do is remove the layers of identity you put over you.

Detach yourself from what you think you need to be loved, seen and happy.

At first, this will feel amazing.

You’ll float off the ground a bit and that’s okay.

After a while, you’ll float back down, connect back with earth and remember that you’re still in a human body, and that’s a beautiful thing.

The Journey

Your journey is infinitely different than anyone else’s, but there are a few general stages that will likely come (if they haven’t already).

5 to be exact. Some phases may take hours and some may take decades. It’s your unique journey, a gift from the universe, enjoy it.

Phase 1

This is where you most likely are. It’s where Neo was before he took the red pill. Living in the matrix. You can’t see reality, but you are enjoying the game to the best of your ability. This is unconscious incompetence. This is living asleep. Unwoke. Whatever you want to call it.

This isn’t a bad thing. In fact, there is no good or bad. That is a subjective decision to categorize something as helpful or not for the world.

Side thought about “good” and “bad.” Enter dark fictional story that hopefully makes a piont.

How could you know that because Tom brutally broke his leg in a car accident (an obviously bad thing) he wasn’t deployed on a mission where everyone ended up dying (an obviously good thing he wasn’t there).

But then, because his squad died, he ended up suffering from a mental disease that later led to him taking his life (bad).

Maybe Tom was the missing link to saving everyone on the mission?

Or maybe not. How could you know? Why would you try to know?

Because Tom took his life, someone close to him started an organization that prevented thousands of people from taking their lives (good).

Point: surrender to the universe and ride the wave, don’t try to fight it or understand it too much.

Phase 2

Okay, you’ve taken the red pill.

The red pill and blue pill is a popular meme representing a choice between taking a “red pill” that reveals an unpleasant truth, and taking a “blue pill” to remain in blissful ignorance. The terms are directly derived from a scene in the 1999 film The Matrix.

You get an initial high from this pill. It’s exciting and novel to your senses. You think you’ve arrived.

The common issue with this phase is that your ego is the one having these thoughts, not you. So you are quick to compare your new enlightened self to those who are not awake.

You judge and look down on others who aren’t woke like you. You question everything unwoke people say. They know nothing. You know everything (ego).

You aren’t grounded. You’re floating away and forgetting that you’re still a human on earth, in the physical realm.

Phase 3

Reality sets in.

Correction: reality hits you in the face like a freight train.

You’ve seen too much that you can’t unsee. Shit!

This throws you into a violent downward spiral.

*Remember, everyone’s journey is different, but it’s likely you have or will experience these phases.

You switched from understanding everything to questioning your entire existence in a matter of minutes.

When you started your journey at phase 1, you had some questions, but they weren’t very deep nor were you super motivated to answer them. Now, in stage 3, you have far more and far deeper questions than you’ve ever had.

It overloads your brain, heart and soul.

You’re not sure about anything. Even the most basic things. This overwhelms you and leaves you lost, confused, emotionally unstable and often unhappy.

Moving right along 😄

Phase 4

One big realization you must make to course correct is to realize that you know nothing.

Part of being a human is not knowing or understanding. The quicker you see the beauty in that, the quicker you can enjoy your life.

The challenge is letting go of your identity (ego) since you’ve worked so hard to create it.

In this phase, you will learn what work needs to be done and you’ll start doing it.

It will be messy at first, but you’ll get the hang of it with practice.

The reward on the other side is the ability to live life as your effortless self, something many of us will never give ourselves the opportunity to do.

Phase 5

This is often the longest phase as it pretty much goes until you die. It’s doing the work, learning, growing and subtly course correcting.

It’s figuring out that life is a grand paradox. Nothing matters yet everything does. You’re infinitely big yet infinitely small. Being you is the easiest and hardest thing to do.

Embrace it and remember that being you is effortless. If you find it effortful, take a look at the layers you’ve laid on top and do the work to remove them.


I hope you do the work.

And remember, don’t smile, you’ll fuck it up.

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